100wc W33 – Rachel

Me and my pal were out on a safari tour. When we arrived it was very late so we went to bed. Suddenly I heard a scream, now this was not just any scream it was a scream from an animal  being hurt. The deafening screams echoed through the cold night. Then we heard men shouting at one another and  helicopter flying overhead also bullet fire.  The next morning we found out what had happened. There was poachers the other night that were trying to remove tusks from the elephant, but before they could do any damage they were shot by the South African military from the helicopter.

2 thoughts on “100wc W33 – Rachel

  1. Haigh Rachel,
    What an exciting and scary 100WC.
    I really liked the way you used the sounds the girls were hearing to create a sense of fear in your story. It is important to use your senses whether it be sounds, smells, visuals etc. to give the reader a sense of of what the characters are feeling and experiencing in a story.
    You fitted the prompt into your description of what happened throughout the night very naturally.
    I also liked the location of your story too, it is one of the great things about writing that we can still travel outside our own countries through our stories and books and using our imagination.
    Well done Rachel.

  2. Great story Rachel. I loved the setting of the safari and the storyline based on the animals and their cruel fate of being in danger. The action packed descriptions worked wonderfully to grip the readers attention.

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