So, Peter and Jack went into the Sydney Opera House and somehow came out of the New York Bank! So they literally got put in jail even though they are only twelve. There was only one other person in the cell with them. He looked really rich for some reason. “So, how did you get in?” Peter asked the man. “Oh, it was something about writing a one million dollar cheque and doing sort of an illegal treasure hunt thing.” “That was you?” said Jack, “that’s how we got in here, looking for that,” said Peter. “Then we should break out together,” said the man. “But should I really do this?” thought Jack to himself..
rang4mairead
Ag foghlaim le chéile
There chillen in jail 😎nice Robert
Haigh Robert,
Are your two characters of Peter and Jack ever going to manage to keep themselves out of trouble!
You have such a great imagination, you are bringing us all around the world but shrouded in a mystery wrapped up in treasure hunt.
Great use of dialogue, not easy to manage to remember to put in all those punctuation marks.
Finally, I loved at the end that Jack was feeling unsure, was he unsure about the plan or the man that that were sharing the cell with and will this lead to conflict with Peter.
Great writing, keep using your imagination.
Wow Robert! Your imagination is weaved throughout the entire story making every part interesting for the reader. Your punctuation, especially speech marks were used perfectly.
The treasure hunt was cleverly used to incorporate different global settings.
The rich man in the same cell as the children adds great contrast although in the end they’re in jail for the same reason… the treasure hunt!