The Abandoned House Part 2…..
Her friends got scared and wanted to go home but they wouldn’t leave without Mary, so they all went up to the house together. When they reached the mat they opened the creaking door slowly, and went into the dark hallway but there was no one there. They decided to go into groups of two, James and Aimee together and Clive and Carol.
Clive and Carol went upstairs while James and Aimee searched the ground floor. Clive and Carol checked every room but nothing, the last place to look was the attic. They looked around and there in the corner was Mary curled up in a ball, she saw them and got up ‘ I am so happy to see you guys’ she said, but then they heard noises behind them and that was the moment they knew they should run….. to be continued
Haigh Conor,
Congratulations on writing a very descriptive 100WC, you used lots of adjectives, adverbs whilst describing the search off the house, I felt I was there searching with the group and what a great visual of Mary curled up in a ball in the corner. I also loved the way you manage to write about the joy of finding Mary and flipping that totally on its head when they heard the noises behind them, all in one sentence! An emotional rollercoaster for the reader.
Great writing keep it up Conor.
Hi Conor
This has all the makings of a great movie although it sounds like it could be a scary one. I like how you’ve added onto a previous 100 word challenge so maybe there’s also a book in you. You’ve used excellent description words which add to the kind of scary atmosphere of your piece eg ‘creaking door’ ‘dark hallway’. You’ve also used the prompt to leave your piece on an exciting cliffhanger! I would love to know what happens next and why you had to run. Maith thú
Máire Ní Chaoimh Team 100wc
Galway