100wc W33 – Conor

THE ABANDONED HOUSE part 1

It was a dark and cloudy Halloween night, there was a fog rolling in on the ground. A  group of five friends dressed up in Halloween costumes were trick or treating door to door. Clive, Carol, James, Aimee and Mary were best friends from school. Mary was dressed up as a super hero with a cape and mask. The wind was blowing very heavily and it snatched Mary’s cape and blew it over to an abandoned house, “I’ll go up to the house and get it back ” Mary said. She ran up to the house and opened the creaking door, she went into the dark hallway and then her friends could hear her deafening screams echoing through the cold night…… to be continued…..

5 thoughts on “100wc W33 – Conor

  1. Great job Conor! This haunting story was filled with adjectives making it easy for the reader to fully imagine the setting in their own head.

    Your use of dialogue was incorporated perfectly, a key element to every story! I look forward to reading Part two.

  2. Haigh Conor,
    What a great opening scene to your story, you have described the weather very well giving your story an eerie athmosphere. I loved the inclusion of words like “snatched “, “dark” and “creaking”, the verbs and adjectives you use in a story are so important as they enrich the reader’s experience which means they get totally absorbed in what they are reading.Finally I loved the use of the prompt as your cliffhanger at the end.
    Great start to what I believe is going to be a creepy story,keep up the fabulous writing.

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