Sam and Danny were best friends until something quite unfortunate happened. It was a beautiful summers evening in Florida. Danny was at Sam’s house celebrating Sam’s stepdad getting a new job. But little did they know that it would cost them their lives. Sam and Danny both were rewarded with money because they saved an FBI agent’s life before Sam’s mum got engaged. Which meant Stepdad didn’t get the money. Back to the present, it is nighttime, and Sam’s stepdad said he had a “surprise” for them. He brought them to an old hut in the forest, it was a mafia headquarters. The deafening screams echoed through the cold night.
Haigh Ciarán,
You have a great imagination, you have included the F.B.I., the Mafia , an evil stepdad, a kidnapping and a reward for saving someone’s life all in one 100WC. Incredible!
For the first half of the story I was really enjoying the setting of the party in Florida on a beautiful summer evening but what a twist you wrote in the second part, a complete curve ball, which turned the mood and atmosphere of the story on its head when they ended up in the old hut in the forest with the mafia, I thought the contrast of the two settings was very effective in keeping the readers attention and your ending left me with the shivers. Well done Ciarán.
Thank you 👍🏻
Hello, this is a story of many twists and turns. Even though you did give me a bit of a clue in the first sentence (…something quite unfortunate happened) I was relaxed by your words of “best” “beautiful summer” and “celebrating”, then you threw in the twist of “lose their lives”. This really made me sit up and pay attention. Choosing an old hut in the forest makes the story creepier. Well done.